rpg_palace | Harry tells Karl about Dr. Stewart (Reply)

Harry checked the time, then double checked his com, making sure that Karl was in his and Viggo's room, and that Viggo was, well, not. Dr. Stewart- Patrick seemed like a genuinely good man, and a skilled doctor, and Harry was fairly sure that he'd have potential for being a good fit with Karl. If I can actually get him to listen to me and not just kick my arse. Harry took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

"Hi Harry." Karl smiled as he opened the door. "Come on in. I wasn't expecting to see you today. How's Orlando? Hey, are you doing anything for that Carnival that's coming up? Me and Viggo been trying to think of something." He moved back to let Harry in, than closed the door. "Get you something to drink?"

"Doing pretty well," Harry said, following Karl into the suite. "Whatever you've got is fine... bring me coffee and you'll wear it though," he threatened. "And yeah... Orlando's doing something called 'absailing' that I'm pretty sure I don't want to be within ten city blocks of, and, well... I kind of volunteered to work with the daycare," he admitted, colouring slightly.

"Harry...YOU?" Karl stared at him, than started laughing. He just managed to get them some drinks without spilling any. "The daycare???"

"Oh shut it," Harry sighed, sitting down on the couch and taking his drink from Karl. "I like kids. I've always liked kids. Just don't want any of me own."

"So, Uncle Harry, what else is new with you?" Karl smiled as he sat in the chair.

"She is adorable, you know. Marton's baby. Behave or I'll come down with a whole com worth of pictures and make you look at them," Harry threatened.

"Marton? Marton had a kid? When the hell did this happen?" Karl blinked in surprise.

Harry looked confused. "I thought you knew... especially calling me Uncle Harry. Did you know he was having one at all?"

Karl shook his head. "I called you that because of the daycare thing. Hell, Harry. I haven't seen Marton since he forced the bastard on me."

"Oh. Well..." Harry tried to think of the best and most expedient way to sum everything up. "Angelina Jolie- that's Elijah's Angel, just for reference, got herself pregnant by Marton, and they made an arrangement where he got the baby, and she got, I'm assuming, merry bundles of cash, she's been living on Royal while she waited to deliver, and she had the baby a couple days ago, in the back of a broken down taxi, because she'd decided to attend a poker tournament and then just all went into labour, and I kind of delivered the baby because I went looking for her, and Marton gave it - her, because the baby is a girl- my name as an ancestral name, so she's Ariene Angelina Sinclair Csokas. Oh, and Will and Marton got married, so 'the bastard' is now, like, Orlando's father-in-law. Or mother-in-law, depending on if it's Christian doing the labeling." Harry finally ran out of breath, wondering if he'd made any sense.

Karl took a big drink, than set the glass down carefully. "Okay, so let me get this. Marton had an arranged...whatever with the bitch who hurt Lija, has a daughter that's got your name as part of hers, AND he married the bastard." He shook his head as he stood up. "I need something stronger for this."

Oh lord. Okay, maybe we should have done the fun recap of Harry's life after I talked to him about seeing a therapist on his behalf. "He didn't arrange to have the baby- the baby happened, and he arranged so that it was his, and not hers. And she's got my name as part of hers because I'm the one who delivered her, and he married Will because he loves him. It's not that hard to follow... kind of," Harry frowned.

Karl threw Harry a look as he took his glass and made a fresh drink. He was quiet for a minute, than sighed. "Well, guess I need to send Marton some congratulations than." He walked back and sat down. "So how are Orlando and Craig enjoying having a little sister? No wait, I forgot they have one. Amanda?"

"Close- Anna. Orlando's happy, determined he'll be able to withstand the force of her adorableness and mile-long eyelashes when she gets old enough to put them to use. Craig... honestly, it's been a bit since we've had had a real talk. I need to see him," Harry sighed.

"How's he been? Anything from David?" Karl had a small smile. "I was thinking about his wedding the other day. Haven't seen him in forever either. Maybe we should take him drinking or something."

"David's back here... you knew that, right? Rostered and everything."

"Hells, no I didn't. Where the fuck have I been?" Karl grimaced. "Sorry. Just been taking clients and coming home. Haven't even gone riding in a couple weeks."

"Nightmares and lack of sleep are getting to you, huh?" Harry said, looking sympathetic.

'Yeah. I-" Karl's head snapped toward Harry. "How did you know about that?"

"Well, I was there the last time this happened, Karl. I didn't just get off the transport from Hicksville," Harry dodged.

"They'll go away, just like last time. I'll be alright." Karl took a drink. "Good thing there's no one else I need to tell, won't be happening again."

Harry shook his head. "That's not going to work this time, Karl. If you were all right, this wouldn't be happening."

"I'm going to be fine, Harry." Karl insisted. "Just need to get over this bit and I’ll be alright.

"Do you know what happens when you have the nightmares? What do you remember?" Harry pressed.

"Don't do this, Harry. Just...no."

"Okay, so you get better. You get past it. And then something happens- say Elijah needs to talk. Like Will did. And this sparks up again because you still haven't dealt with it."

"There's nothing more to tell, he knows everything. So we talk about him and not me. Problem solved."

"He doesn't know everything and you know it. He knows that it happened. So does Viggo. And Viggo's only just starting to get an idea of exactly what 'what' means," Harry said softly.

"He doesn't need to know. Neither does Lija. It's not their problem. It's mine and I'll deal with it."

"Karl, you're not getting it. You sleep with Viggo. You're having the nightmares with him there. Believe me, he's getting an idea of what 'what is."

"They're not that bad. It'll be fine." Karl's voice was softer. "It'll be fine. It will."

"Puppy," Harry sighed, resting his head in his hands. "He saw you put yourself in the box."

"What?!" Karl's face went pale. "He....he...no. NO. I- He didn't say...NO." He stood up and started to pace, his glass forgotten in his hand. "No."

"The dreams are coming out the same way they did after you first told me. Almost the same order. He's going to see everything I saw." Harry rose, taking Karl's glass gently out of his hand and placing it on the table, keeping hold of Karl's hand.

"No. No." Karl closed his eyes, shaking his head. "No. I-Phil! She has to have something, right? Something to keep me from dreaming. That's it. That's what I'll do." He pulled his hand out of Harry's grasp, going for his com. "Have to see if she's there."

"That's just a bandage, not a solution," Harry said, following him over. "Unless you deal with all that crap in your head, this is going to keep happening. Let’s end it, Karl. Get it over with."

"I'm. Going. To. Be. Fine." His teeth clenched, Karl ran his hand thru his hair as he searched for Phil's number.

Harry reached into his pocket and silently handed over Dr. Stewart's card.

Karl glanced at the card before going back to his com, than he froze. "What the hell..." He snatched it and stared. "You....you..." Disbelieving eyes turned to Harry.

"His name's Doctor Stewart. Patrick. He specializes in treating adults who were sexually abused as children and teenagers." Harry said calmly.

Karl looked back at the card, than dropped it and his com as he pulled back and swung at Harry. "HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THAT?" He swung again, aiming lower. "YOU...YOU FUCKING TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT ME?? BEHIND MY BACK??"

Oh fuck. Thought I had more time 'fore this happened. Harry reacted a moment too slowly, only able to duck partly out of the first punch, taking a glancing blow off his jaw, unable to adjust fast enough to avoid the punch to the shoulder that spun him half way around. Backing up quickly, he gave his head a shake, trying to focus on keeping Karl off him, refusing to hit him over this. "Because I love you. And you love Viggo, and I want to help you- both of you!"

Karl launched himself at Harry, knocking him down. "YOU PROMISED!!! YOU FUCKING PROMISED..." His blows became more erratic. "YOU SWORE!!"

Harry hit the ground hard, knocking the wind out of him, hardly noticing the hits as he struggled to breathe. Lost for anything else to do with Karl in the state he was in, Harry dropped his shield, running through his memories of Karl's nightmares, his horror, his anger, his distress at realizing that Karl was seeing him as his abuser. He remembered night after night of watching Karl describe his torment, his frustration at not being able to do more to help. His heartbreak at realizing it was happening all over again to Viggo. His desperation to do something to save them both from that. His love for Karl.

Karl yelled as he grabbed his head, rolling off of Harry and staggering away. He shut his eyes as he brought his shield up, the tears squeezing out. "Stop it!! Stop it!!"

Harry rolled onto his side, finally managing to gasp a breath, coughing hard, his eyes watering from the effort, cutting the stream of memories off abruptly, wincing in pain.

Karl whimpered as he rocked back and forth, working to get Harry's feelings out of his head. "You promised. You promised. How could you?"

"Because- fuck-" Harry groaned, still struggling to breath properly, shifting to turn to look at Karl. "Because I knew you'd never do it on your own. Because I know what Viggo's about to go through, because it happened to me, and I don't want that for either of you. Because we tried this once with me playing therapist and it failed. Because Viggo won't have any better luck than I did. It's confidential, Karl. He's a doctor- he can't tell anyone what I said."

"BUT HE KNOWS!!! He knows. I don't want anyone else. Dammit Harry!" Karl started shaking. "I didn't want-

"I know. And I'm sorry. I am sorry." Harry looked directly at Karl. "Karl, it's not okay. Being able to manage doesn't make it okay. Do you really think I'm here talking to you and Viggo's off and away by accident?"

Karl shook his head. "No...no...please...don't make me. Don't...please?" The tears rolled down. "Please."

"Puppy," Harry raised himself up, with effort, and crawled over to Karl, reaching out and taking his hand. "When have I ever forced you to do anything, huh? Can you tell me what you're afraid of?"

"I don't want there to be more. I don't want...sometimes I feel like there's more. Things I can't remember. I don't want any more. I just want to forget all of it. I just want it gone."

"Ignoring it isn't going to make that happen. I wish it would - god, Karl, if it would make it better, I'd listen to it all over again. Spare you, spare Viggo having to deal with it. But it won't."

Karl finally looked at Harry, a lost expression on his face. "What if it doesn't work? What if he can't?"

"Then we keep going 'til we find someone who can." Harry looked determined. "Karl, have you been partly holding off on this because then you won't have that 'last resort' left?"

"What if this is the way I'm supposed to be? Just always like this. Messed up." Karl looked away. "And he wins."

"Karl, you're not messed up. In so many areas of your life, you're doing so well. He didn't win- he doesn't win. So get that out of your head, because it's not true." Harry bit his lip and sat up, turning Karl's face back to him. "I won't let him win, and neither will Viggo."

Karl stared into Harry's eyes, than broke down and cried as he clung to him. Words were past him, so he could only nod his head.

Harry pulled Karl as close as he could, rubbing his back and murmuring soothingly, letting him cry it out, not even trying to stop him.

Slowly, the crying lessened. Karl stayed curled up in Harry's lap, his eyes shut. Then he looked up, touching his face as he kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Harry smiled just a little. "You doing better? If I put my back into it, I could probably make it to the kitchen and grab us both a bottle of water."

"Yeah better." Karl shook his head. "No, just want Viggo. Call him back, please?"

"No problem," Harry reached for his com, dialing quickly. "Viggo? You can come home. No, I'll stick around."

Karl rested his head back against Harry's chest, looking at nothing as he waited for his love.

Viggo hurried up from the garden where- in theory- he'd been sketching. If fidgeting and tapping the pencil against the pad count as sketching. He took a deep breath and walked inside, going straight to the living room, crouching down and giving Karl a gentle kiss, then pulling back, almost double taking when he looked at Harry. "God! When you said he'd beat the hell out of you for this, I thought you were being facetious!"

Harry shrugged. "No, not really. Hey, Viggo."

Karl looked at Harry again, his eyes widening. "Shit, oh fuck, Harry." He reached up to touch Harry's face, than drew his hand back. "I....fuck Harry, I'm sorry."

"I'm getting ice, okay? Be right back." Viggo looked sympathetically at Harry, kissed Karl one more time, then headed for the kitchen, hands shaking just a little as he gathered ice and dishcloths.

"Fuck." Karl hugged him before moving back to better see his face.

"It's okay, I expected it," Harry sighed. "It's that bad?"

Karl nodded, than winced. "Orlando. Shit, Harry. I'll call him, apologize or something. And Lija...I can't-" He shook his head, than got unsteadily to his feet. Finding a mirror, he handed it to Harry. He fell with a heavy thud into a chair, sitting for a second before bringing his legs up and wrapping his arms around them.

"Well. Isn't that pretty," Harry said wryly, turning his face from side to side to see the black eye and bruise forming against his cheekbone, the mark on his jaw on the other side, and the split lip. "No big deal. I'll deal with it, Karl- don't worry, okay?" he said, nodding in thanks as Viggo handed him the ice, shifting Harry's hand to make sure it covered the whole bruise.

Karl rested his chin on his knees, nodding as he gazed off. His eyes slid shut and he started shaking again as he wiped his face. "What's he like? The doctor. Like that Dr. Lee?"

Viggo moved to sit on the armrest of Karl's chair, silently taking his hand.

"He's nice. Not quite like Liam, no. Liam's practice is specifically for people who are still children and teens, usually who are fresh out of an abusive situation. Patrick treats people who are like you. People who have this in their past, and can't get it to stop hurting them in the present. I thought if I saw him first, I'd have an idea whether there'd be any point even suggesting it or not. I didn't think you'd go for him as a name picked out of information, like." Harry said, leaning against the couch, his words muffled a little through the cloth against his lip.

Karl looked up at Viggo, than moved to lay his head against his leg. He squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry you have to go thru this, love. If I had known....Sorry you are too, Harry."

"It's not your fault," Viggo murmured, holding his hand tightly. "But since it's happening anyway, even though it's not your fault, please, won't you let us try and help? At least try?"

"Okay." Karl's voice was barely audible. He turned his face into Viggo's leg, than nodded. His grip on Viggo's hand grew tighter.

"Okay?" Viggo echoed, looking wide eyed at Harry for a moment before turning back to Karl.

Karl nodded again before looking up. "Remember...Harry's face. The more and more he had to-" He swallowed. "I can't do that to someone else. Not to you. I can't ever make it up to Harry, but I can keep it from you."

"I don't care about that- I just want you to be happy- here," Viggo placed his hand over Karl's heart. "I don't want this eating away at you anymore."

"Nothing to make up for, Karl. It's not you that caused it. We just lived with the consequences. Just try it- see what happens." Harry murmured.

Karl put his hand over Viggo's, managing a weak smile. Than he nodded again. "I will. For you." He bit his lip. "Guess should be for me. But I-just let me do it for you right now."

"Okay," Viggo whispered back, his smile mirroring Karl's. "I love you."

"I love you. So much, my love." Karl leaned up to kiss him, blinking back the tears. Than he turned to Harry. "Love you too."

"I know. Love you back, Puppy," Harry said, groaning as he got to his feet and came over, kissing Karl on top of the head. "We at my cue to go then?" he grinned.

"Do you need help getting back?" Karl frowned as he saw how Harry was moving. "Fuck Harry. I'm sorry."

"Nah, my pet rock is wandering around out there somewhere. He can see me home. You stay here with Viggo," Harry waved off the offer of help. "I'm sorry I broke your trust Karl. Hope you'll forgive that sometime."

"Harry." Karl stood up, still holding on to Viggo's hand. "I already have. I know you only did it cause you care about me. I know it wasn't easy for you."

"Not especially easy, no. And thank you." Harry smiled at Karl. "Just be happy, Karl. And be well. I really believe that you can be. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't."

Karl hugged him tight, moving to kiss him on the cheek once more. "Thank you, Harry. Puppy thanks you so much." He whispered.

"Puppy's welcome," Harry said automatically. And ow. But not gonna tell him that. "Viggo, you've got Patrick's card when Karl's ready to make the call."

"I do," Viggo nodded. "Thank you Harry. We owe-"

"No more owing. Enough owing. We're good, all right?" Harry looked sternly at both of them, unable to keep the bit of a smile out of his eyes.

"Yeah, we're good." Karl smiled back at him, than at Viggo. "We're good."

"Good. I've got a prince to see. Be good," Harry winked at them, turning around and walking out of the suite, almost wincing at the look he got from Dwayne as the shadow came around the corner. "Look, don't start, okay?"

Karl watched Harry leave, than squeezed Viggo's hand. "Lay down with me? Hold me?"

Viggo nodded, leading Karl into the bedroom and curling up on the bed with him, running his fingers through Karl's hair. "Forever."

Karl settled against his love, his eyes closing. "Forever." He moved his hand to lay over Viggo's heart. "Us."

Viggo's hand joined Karl's. "Us."