2nd half of Reflections…(Craig and David back story)

[palace-david.livejournal.com]

Craig was pulled out of his memories for a moment when he felt David shift next to him. David grinned sleepily, "Were you watching me sleep?" he asked.

"Hello sleepy head," Craig grinned down at him, "Yeah, I was...and was thinking."

David rolled onto his side and propped his head on his elbow, "About what?"

"Us. How we met. Being nostalgic I guess," Craig answered smiling.

David grinned at him, "Yeah, I been doing that lately too. Hey, it's early yet right?"

"Hmm, yeah," Craig said nodding.

"Good, come here. I'm not ready to wake up yet really and you look tired still," David said reaching out. Craig settled down in his embrace and they lay together silently listening to the world wake up around them. Craig began to doze off but David remained awake. It was his turn to watch the man he loved sleep and remember...

*****
David was sitting in the floor of Craig's suite laughing as his friend told him about his day at the markets. "So Michael actually picked the guy up and shook him until the coins fell out of his pockets?" David asked falling over onto the floor completely. "Promise me you will NEVER leave Palace without Michael ok? Please?" David gasped between breaths.

Craig looked at David in mock seriousness. "WHY does everyone tell me that?" he asked, bewildered. "But, yes, I promise. Geez..."

David finally controlled his laughter and sat back up, "I'm sorry...just you are so, naive sometimes, Craig. You are a very rich man, and royalty you forget that some people will take advantage sometimes."

Craig broke into laughter himself. "I know......and I've had more than one person take advantage of that. But this kid looked SO fucking innocent!!! And he *SAID* it was for a good cause...." He shook his head. "I think Michael is just hoping to guard someone like Anna some day - someone who has a little sense and won't make him hold people upside down all the time..."

With Craig's last statement David fell over again clutching his stomach as he laughed, "You're going to kill me ya know," he choked out. Finally he settled and sat back up glancing over at Craig who was smiling at him. He'd always had a gorgeous smile, over the last nine months since they'd met and become friends David had found himself falling more and more in love with him every day. Craig was so sweet and generous and kind, but so very naive. David felt the need to protect him, take care of him, be there for him...and most recently he discovered he wanted more than friendship but was terrified to go any further. Craig had met him when his last relationship had fallen apart, David knew the whole ugly story, and he knew Craig was still afraid to give his heart away again. David would never dream of hurting him, but how does one tell your best friend you've fallen in love with them? Especially when they are afraid to return that love?

As Craig looked over at David, he felt his heart skip a beat. He'd helped him through so much over the past few months - had let him cry on his shoulder, helped him deal with the looks and whispers and sympathetic glances that had followed him for the weeks after Russell had left. Craig found himself getting over Russell's betrayal for the most part. He'd always carry the hurt around with him, but no longer found the need to cry each night and try not to remember Russell’s strong arms. Where at first he'd sought David out to help him through the long hours, now he found that he simply wanted to enjoy his company. It had happened slowly - a touch here, and smile there - and he found that he cared for David more than he'd ever cared for anyone - even Russell. He *wanted* to be with David as more than friends, but was so afraid. He knew David would never, ever hurt him - he was too good a friend to do that - but he was so very, very afraid of being left alone again, afraid of losing the one person who meant more to him than he could admit, even to himself.

David shifted positions and accidentally bumped the small coffee table sending a crystal bowl off the side. "Shit!" he yelped as he dove for it and caught it before it hit the floor. "Sorry," he murmured looking up into blue eyes directly in front of his own. He'd nearly dove right into Craig's lap going after the expensive crystal. His breath caught in his throat at the look he saw in those eyes. He leaned forward slightly depositing the bowl on the table and pressing his lips against Craig's. He prayed he wasn't making a huge mistake.

Craig froze when David's lips softly touched his. He closed his eyes and felt his body react to the gentle pressure as his whole world shrunk to include only himself and this beautiful man in front of him. A trembling hand rose to caress the beloved face, and he opened his lips slightly, amazed at how delicious David tasted. He sighed into David's mouth and pulled him closer, one hand on his back and the other carding through the strawberry hair he'd longed to touch for months.

Encouraged by the reaction he was getting David's tongue slid against Craig's slowly, tenderly. He lifted his hand to cradle Craig's as he deepened the kiss until it stole their breath away. David broke the kiss and leaned back to see his friend's eyes. He wasn't sure what to think, Craig had seemed to want him, but did he really? Was it just a reaction? He knew Craig hadn't been with anyone since Russell. He didn't want to take advantage. "I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," he whispered as he blushed.

Craig stared at David for a moment. "You're....sorry? I thought......" He flushed, lowering his eyes and letting his hands fall to his sides.

David panicked, "No...no I'm not sorry I kissed you. I wanted to...I want you. I just, I don't want to take advantage of you, Craig. I don't want to be like everyone else," he said softly cupping the other man's face and tilting it up so he could see his eyes. "I don't want to be like everyone else," he repeated softly staring into sparkling blue eyes.

Craig looked into David's eyes, seeing only honesty and tenderness. He lifted his hand back to caress his face, running his thumb gently across the other man's bottom lip. "David, you could never be like everyone else. Never. Don't you see that?" He leaned in and touched his lips to David's. Pulling back slightly, he whispered, "Please. Just kiss me again?"

David smiled into the kiss losing himself in the sensation of kissing a man he'd wanted for months. Slowly, tenderly he continued to deepen the kiss, his hand burying itself in soft hair as he controlled the kiss then slid his lips from Craig's nipping at his lower lip then planting soft kisses along his jaw to his neck, biting and sucking gently against sensitive skin.

Craig arched back, pulling David on top of him with a moan. He felt his heartbeat rabbit and wrapped his arms around the muscled shoulders. "David. Do you have any idea how long I've wanted you?" He gasped as David's lips touched his ear. "I've tried so hard not to - I didn't know how you felt, but, Gods, I've wanted....no, needed ...you for so long. Tell me you feel it too? That this is more than for tonight?" His hands slid up and down David's back, afraid to let him go.

David braced himself on his elbows and looked into Craig's eyes, "Yes. It is more than tonight if you want that. I've cared for you since the moment we met, and I've loved you nearly as long, Craig. I was afraid...afraid to scare you. Afraid you'd think I was like him," David whispered.

Craig closed his eyes and let David's words wash over him. He'd fought this all the way - he hadn't wanted to love David, but it just happened....happened months ago, truth be told. And he'd been powerless to stop it. He felt the words rush out of his mouth before he realized he was going to speak. "And I love you too, David. Love you more than you could possibly know." His eyes widened in shock. He shook his head to clear the confusion. "I...I swore I'd never say those words again, but there it is. I love you. And I'll love you for as long as you love me. No matter if it's for ten days or ten years."

David smiled feeling as if his heart may fly out of his chest. "You can say it as often and as long as you want. I'm yours as long as you want me, Craig. As long as you'll have me," he said softly leaning down and kissing Craig tenderly again. He didn't remember a time when he'd ever felt this way from kissing...felt this connected.

'*As long as I'll have him?* Gods, I want him forever. I never get forever,' Craig thought. 'But I'll sure as hell enjoy whatever he's offering right now and show him how much I love him.' His arms wrapped around David as he leaned back, pulling the other man with him. Gods, when had he ever ached for someone like that? This all-consuming fire that threatened to obliterate his senses, and steal his breath?

David sighed softly against Craig's lips, "I want you, so much," he whispered.

He kissed him deeply and moaned into his friend's...no lover's mouth when he shifted slightly and his erection ground against Craig's. It took all of David's will power not to be too controlling, he wanted to take it slow, let Craig guide him.

Craig shivered and ran his hands underneath David's shirt, softly stroking the smooth skin underneath with his fingertips. His lips, his skin, -God, his very soul - combined to send Craig's heart into a frenzy. As David pressed his hips down on Craig's, he cried out softly. "Gods, David. I need you. Please make love to me. I promise I won't break." He licked at the hollow of his lovers' throat, and looked up at him, desire shining brightly in his eyes.

David stared into Craig's eyes seeing desire and not fear he sat up smiling, "Need to get all these damn clothes off...wish I'd left my uniform on now," he grinned fumbling with the buttons of Craig's shirt.

Craig reached out with trembling hands to tug at the buttons of David's shirt before running his hands over his smooth chest. "God, you're beautiful, David. Hurry." His breath was coming in harsh pants as he leaned up to kisses every inch of his lover that he could reach.

David's breath caught in his throat for a moment then he stood offering his hand to Craig. He pulled the other man up and into his arms for a quick kiss pushing his shirt off his shoulders then trailing his hands to his waist. His hands were trembling as he unbuttoned the dark slacks then unzipped them his hand sliding insde to grip his lover's hard length stroking firmly.

"Oh, GOD, David," Craig moaned. He quickly unhooked David's pants and pushed them to the floor. Pushing his aching cock into the hand that surrounded him, he reached down to grasp David's own hard erection. His other arm snaked around his lover's back, pulling him closer as he brought their lips together again. His tongue gently explored the inside of the delicious mouth before opening wider and seeking more.

David hissed when Craig's hand wrapped around him then his mouth was invaded with a slick hot tongue. After drowning in sweet kisses David lowered to his knees before Craig his lips trailing along his lover's stomach and then licked his hard cock before opening his mouth and taking it deep in one smooth motion. David set a steady pace while his hands held his lover's hips firmly.

Craig threaded his fingers through David's hair as his cock was engulfed. His knees threatened to give way, but he felt the steady pressure of David's hands holding him securely. Somehow, he knew that David would never let him fall. He looked down to see David looking up at him, as the look of love that shone from his eyes made Craig all the weaker. As David's head moved along the length of his leaking cock, he stifled a groan and shivered. "Wait, love," he panted. "I'm too close. Not like this. Not our first time. "

David sat back on his knees looking up at Craig, "Tell me what you want," he said softly.
Craig reached for his hands and lifted him to his feet, holding him tightly. "I want you, on the bed, and inside me,:" he whispered. "But first, I want to take you into my mouth and taste you and feel you and lick until you can barely stand it. Then I want you to slide into me as I look into your eyes."

David shivered at Craig's words, they seemed to race from his ears straight to his groin. "Oh gods...yes, love," he moaned.

Craig led David over to the bed and gently pushed him back. He leaned over, kissed him deeply and stared into his eyes. "I love you," he whispered into his mouth, before trailing his lips down the trembling chest and licking at his navel. When he finally reached his lover's rigid cock, he lowered his hand to gently knead the heavy sacks beneath it as he ran his tongue along its length. He lowered himself slowly, allowing David to feel every inch of himself being consumed. Craig closed his eyes and savored the taste of his lover's passion, as he grew impossibly harder.

"I love you too." David whispered in return as he enjoyed the delicious torture Craig was inflicting on him. When Craig's mouth closed around his aching hardness he moaned and arched slightly as fire seemed to spread through his veins. "Gods, Craig...so good," he whimpered.

Craig raised his head, his breath hitching, as he struggled not to come. He'd never seen a more beautiful sight than the man he loved lying in front of him, hard and trembling, moaning his name. He wondered if this was really happening, or was simply a dream. He licked his lips, tasting his lover and said in a low voice. "I need you, David. Please. Please make love to me. I can't wait any more."

David shuddered and though he wanted him more than anything his body protested when Craig moved away from him rolling onto his back. David moved to sit on his knees between Craig's legs.

"I don't want to hurt you...lube?" he asked softly. Craig pointed to the nightstand and David reached in and got the small tube. His hands were trembling, he'd been a Level 5 Votary for almost three years and he was fucking shaking! Concentrating on steadying his breathing and his mind David's fingers dipped between Craig's legs a single digit pressing against the tight opening and then slid inside slowly. David slid a second finger alongside the first and smiled slightly at Craig's wonderful reaction.

Craig practically screamed, as he was touched for the first time in months. It had been so long.....He'd never wanted anyone as much as he wanted David. He realized that anything he'd ever felt before paled in comparison to the love and need and ache for this man who was touching him so gently. He pressed down against David's fingers, as they twisted and scissored deep inside him. "Please, David," he whimpered, unable to think coherently. "Please....:"

At Craig's whimpered pleas David slowly withdrew his fingers and positioned his cock against the tight opening pressing forward slowly breaching the tight heat. He paused after a few moments allowing Craig to adjust to the intrusion and then continued slowly until he was buried to the hilt within his lover. Again David paused as much for Craig's sake as his own. He'd not felt so out of control in years. After a few moments he began to withdraw and then shallowly thrust until he set a rhythm and was moving faster and faster within velvet tightness.

Craig bit his lip as David slid into him smoothly, filling him completely. Shallow thrusts were intermingled with deep ones that unerringly hit his sensitive prostate as his vision tunneled in to focus on the man he loved. Wrapping his legs around David's waist, he arched up, his hands clenching in the bed sheets before finally releasing and reaching out to pull David closer. "Look at me when you come, love," he pleaded, needing to see his own love reflected back at him.
Moaning softly David thrust deeper and faster as he wrapped his hand around Craig's leaking cock his eyes firmly fixed on the beautiful blue eyes of his lover. His pace quickened and he felt his control slipping with each thrust. "Come with me, love," he panted stroking his lover in time with his deep thrusts.

As David grasped his cock, Craig had just enough time to realize he'd NEVER felt this connection with anyone in his entire life. David's voice was like honey, his eyes like the ocean, his smile like Heaven. And everything about him reached some part deep in Craig that made him feel safe and more loved than he'd ever imagined he could feel. He felt David tense and knew he was close. He thrust into the hand that gripped him and pushed back onto David's cock, taking every inch of him, until he felt the heavy balls rest against the curve of his ass. "Yes, love, I'm coming," he gasped, feeling his release spill over his lover's hand as he clenched around the cock inside him and heard David moan.

David came shuddering as his lover's muscles milked him. He collapsed on top of Craig for only a moment before rolling to his side and curling his arms around him kissing his temple. "I love you," David whispered shakily. His body was still electrified from his climax. He had never felt anything quite like that before, the way he could feel Craig, nothing at all like his Talent normally helped him to feel others...this was different, another plain entirely. With that thought he pulled Craig even closer, this was it for him. This was what he'd searched for, this connection, this love, this feeling of being complete.

Craig reached out to trace the line of David's jaw, pausing to tug a stray lock of hair behind his ear. He pressed his lips to his lover's and smiled. "I love you too, you know," he whispered burying his face in the other man's neck, and closing his eyes. This is where he wanted to be, he realized. Forever. There was no doubt in his mind. He was home. He wrapped his arms around David and sighed happily, never wanting to let him go.

-----------------------------

Craig leaned back against David's chest in the darkness as the cd played its last song. They'd been relaxing on the couch, talking about everything under the sun. He snuggled closer to his lover and smiled as his arms wrapped more snugly around him.

David smiled in contentment, "So how was your day?" he asked resting his chin on Craig's shoulder.

"Hmmm......fine," Craig sighed happily. "I bought a Servitor today and spent a few hours with him, then worked on a few mediations this afternoon."

David sat back slowly withdrawing from Craig, bought a Servitor? He blinked a few times trying to process the information.

"Hey....come back here," Craig said playfully. "I'm cold!"

David scooted further away and then disentangled himself from his lover on the couch and stood up walking toward the open window. He needed a moment to digest that his lover had found the need to purchase pleasure services.

Craig looked around in bewilderment as David walked away. "Sweetheart? Are you ok?" He stood up and moved to the window to stand behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his face between the tense shoulders, trying to think what on earth he'd done. They'd never had a real fight before, and David had never walked away like this. "Did I say something wrong?"

David tensed as soon as Craig's arms wrapped around him, "Why?" he asked softly. "Why did you do that?"

Craig pulled away to step in front of his lover. "Do what? David, what the hell are you talking about? What's wrong with you?"

David looked at Craig his eyes sad, "You bought a Servitor? Why?"

"Well, yeah," Craig said. "I...well, you were busy, and I had the morning free, and I just.......bought one. Is there a problem with that?" He looked up at David, not understanding where this was leading.

"Is there a problem? Gods, Craig, did you ever do that when you were with Russell?" David asked feeling anger starting to well up inside him. He rarely got angry, and in their five months together as a couple they had never fought before. How could Craig think it wasn't a problem?

"Well, no." Craig said, his voice rising. "But then again, as far as I knew at the time, Russell wasn't having sex all day, unlike you. I mean, it's what you *do* David. Obviously, I know now know what Russell did every day, but honestly, do you want me to just sit around and twiddle my thumbs while you're fucking around?" His heart was breaking at the look on David's face, but he still didn't understand what the problem was. What he purchased was no different than the service David provided - just sex. What they had at home, with each other, was love, and had nothing to do with the giving or receiving of Palace services. So, what was the problem, he wondered.

"Fucking around? It's my *job* there is nothing I can do about that, I was placed in the Pleasure Service. I have no idea why I was, but I was. So you just up and cheat on me because I'm obligated to do my job? Because you see it as being fair? That isn't supposed to bother me? Have you been doing this the entire time we've been together? If so why didn't you tell me before now?" David asked his voice rising.

Craig's face flushed. He knew what he had with David was too good to be true, but he hadn't expected it to end this quickly. And what the hell was he talking about, anyway? He made a conscious effort to lower his voice. "Cheat on you? What the fuck are you talking about? I didn't cheat on you! I *purchased* some company for a few hours. I've NEVER complained about your job, David. I've offered to buy you out, and you won't hear of it. I've offered to buy your services for the day, and you shoot that down too. It's not difficult to see that you LOVE your fucking job, and would rather keep it than stay here with me. So, I ask you, what is the difference? It's just sex!" His hands clenched into fists as he stared at the man he'd let himself love.

Obviously, he'd misjudged again... Fine. Better to kick him out than wait for him to leave. It was quite apparent that his departure wasn't far away, so, why wait? He closed his eyes, steeling his voice. "And, yes, if you must know, I've bought a few since we got together. And I will continue to buy a few in the upcoming weeks, months, and years. If you have a problem with that, you can just go ahead and leave." Shit, he thought. Don't leave...please don't leave. A voice inside him told him to shut the hell up and promise David anything, but a stronger voice reminded him that he was no one - and the longer he was with David, the harder it would be when he finally chose to leave on his on.

David's face went pale, Craig couldn't understand why he didn't want to have his contract purchased? Then the words 'you can just go ahead and leave' struck him. He felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. Craig didn't really love him, not the way David loved him, if he did he'd never ask him to leave. To just walk away. David swallowed hard, "Leave?" he whispered softly unable to believe what was happening.

Craig fought back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him. He loved this man more than life itself. He'd never understood why David wouldn't let him buy out his contract in the first place. Then this whole sex-thing wouldn't be an issue. And since David chose to give him hell over something as meaningless as the purchase of a servitor or two, then he figured he was only looking for a way out. Well, he'd make this easier on both of them. Give him the out he needed. Turning his back so David couldn't see his tears, he took a deep breath and steeled himself, "Yes. Don't know why you've stayed this long anyway. Why don't you just go back downstairs to work?" This was it, he thought. This is my life ending, my only chance at happiness is walking out the door...

David was staring at Craig's back trying to understand what was going on. "Since this seems to be what you want..." David said softly and turned for the door. His heart was shattering inside his chest. How had this happened? He paused as his hand wrapped around the handle his head hanging low. His world was ending; he was loosing not only his best friend but also his lover…the only man he’d ever truly loved. Part of him screamed to fight, to argue, to STAY, but he couldn’t. "I...I'll send someone up for my things," he said softly and turned the handle. He felt his heart twist in his chest again this was it, if Craig didn’t call him back now it was over.


Craig wanted nothing more that to turn and rush into David's arms and never let him go. To beg him to stay, and promise him anything. Gods, how it had hurt when he found out about Russell, hurt like hell. But this was different. This was a thousand, a million times worse. Why had he let himself fall in love again? Knowing that he wasn't special, wasn't beautiful, or talented, or funny enough to keep the interest of someone as wonderful as David.. If he'd had the fucking crown, things would be different. He'd be *somebody*. But he had nothing. Nothing to offer this man that was walking out of his life forever. He tried to tell himself that at least this way, he had some control, rather than sitting around waiting for the day David would come by and say that he'd found someone bet better.

But, fuck, he didn't know if he could make it through this. He heard David's hand on the door. He was really going. "Fine," he said. "I'll have your stuff packed and ready when they get here."

With those final words David felt his last shred of hope slip away he stifled the sob that was welling up inside him and stepped over the threshold. He couldn't respond without sobbing, that he knew. Silently he slipped into the hall and walked in a daze to the lift. Once inside he collapsed against the wall, sliding down it and burying his face in his hands. Completely bereft he could no longer hold back the wracking sobs that shook his entire body. Nothing in his life had been more painful than this. Nothing.

"Don't go." Craig mouthed the words, but nothing came out. His shoulders sagged as the only man he'd ever truly loved walked away. He held back as long as he could and finally made his way blindly to the bedroom. Throwing himself across the blankets he curled up with a pillow-David's pillow-and sobbed. He tried to focus on the past five months - the happiest of his life, with the kindest, most wonderful, tender, and beautiful man he'd ever dreamed of. And he'd fucked it all up. Burying his face into the soft pillowcase, he felt like he'd never smile again.

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Staring at the mostly untouched beer bottle in front of him David hung his head and sighed. Two weeks since Craig had told him to leave and it still hurt like hell. He still didn't understand what had happened really, replaying it in his mind just made him angry. He hadn't fought back at all, just walked away. Walked away from the best thing that had ever happened to him. *I'm such a fucking idiot.*

Harry strolled into the pub and headed for the bar. He'd been looking forward to having a beer for a couple of hours now, and he could practically taste it already. He gave his order to the bartender with a flirt and a wink, and then turned around to survey the room. *Daisy!* Even with just the view from behind, Harry could never have missed recognizing the man sitting in the booth across the room. Telling the bartender to have his drink brought to him at the table, Harry walked up behind David, kissed him on the cheek, stole his beer and took a long pull. "Fucking Christ, Daisy- you've got shit taste in beer. And it's warm to boot! Haven't I taught you anything in the time I've known you!" Harry walked around the table and plopped himself down in the seat across from David, grinning.

David looked up at Harry trying to smile but just couldn't, "Hey, Harry," he said sadly looking back down at the table. He didn't feel like company...hell he didn't even know why he'd come to the pub he just couldn't stare at the walls of his room anymore.

Harry looked at David, puzzled. He looked up, and thanked the waiter who had delivered his beer.

"Bring this guy another." Harry said, handing David’s barely drunk bottle to the waiter. "Shit's gone warm." Harry watched the man walk back to the bar, and turned to look at David. "What's up, Daisy? You look like shit, if you don't mind me saying so."

Frowning David shook his head, "I feel like shit, so I guess I have a whole shit theme going on."

"And here's your fresh bottle of that shit beer you picked out. Cheers!" Harry watches the waiter put the bottle in front of David, and waits for him to leave before he speaks again. "Wanna tell me about the whole shit theme? I'm comfortable, and I've got my own very nice beer in front of me... don't mind hearing about it."

"Not much to tell really other than I'm a fucking idiot. I...was in a relationship up until two weeks ago a damn good one. I got upset about something and he asked me to leave. I didn't even fucking fight back I just walked out," David said softly as he scraped at the label on his bottle. "I can't eat, I can't sleep, and yeah so that completes the whole shit theme I guess." David hadn't talked to anyone about the break up and wasn't even sure why he was telling Harry, he just couldn't hold it inside anymore.

Harry pauses in the middle of taking a sip of his beer. *Shit! Poor Daisy. What the fuck do I say now.* Harry puts his drink down. "Fucking sorry to hear that, David. You got upset about something and he tells you to walk? Guy sounds like a prick anyway- you're probably better off without him." Harry figures one of two things will happen here- David will agree with him and Harry can get him to drown his sorrows, (hopefully with better beer than he's drinking right now) or David will jump to the defensive and think about trying to fix this. *Lets see whether we get door number one, or door number two.*

David's eyes snap up to meet Harry's, "He is NOT a prick!" he spat out and then sat back and looked at the ceiling. "I am. I should...hell I dunno I shouldn't have just fucking walked. I just...I didn't want to scare him. He's been through hell, and I know cause I was his friend through the whole mess. Asshole took advantage of his good nature, got him to buy out his contract then cheated on him and treated him like shit. So no he isn't a prick, Harry."

*Door number two it is. Very well then.* "So the ex-lover of your ex-lover, who is, in fact not a prick- although *his* ex-lover *was* a prick- panicked when you got upset with him, and showed you the door. And you walked out without a word. Interesting." Harry sits and waits for David to puzzle out the logic buried within the tangle of words he's just thrown at him.

David sits there for a few minutes trying to decipher whatever the fuck it was Harry had just said.

"Look," he sighs, "I just...I didn't know what to say. I got upset because he was purchasing services and hadn't ever told me until two weeks ago....tonight actually. Fuck. I got upset, it was a shock, I had no idea. He just sorta blurted it out when I asked what he'd done that day. Didn't expect to hear WHO he did. So I got upset and then he got all pissed off. Said I had no right to get upset when I fuck around all day, but that's my job. I told him that was my job I didn't have a choice and then he starts in about how it didn't have to be because he keeps offering to buy out my contract. He got mad cause I kept saying no. He doesn't seem to get WHY I keep saying no to that," David said
sitting back.

"Why don't you want him to buy out your contract? Make life easier all around, wouldn't it?" Harry is just pressing for reaction now...David just needs to let this out so he can process this himself. And he hasn't got a clue why David has such a problem with this guy seeing other people on the side. *Don't people understand there is a difference between love and fucking?*

"Because number one I don't want him to ever think I'm like that other guy, and number two I've worked for ten years now and only have a few left, it would be as if the last ten years meant nothing. I *have* to earn it on my own. I know it doesn't make sense to most people but I'd lose all respect for myself if I didn't earn my own way," David explained as he peeled the rest of the label off his beer and tossed it on the table.

"Wow. That makes a lot of sense. And he didn't understand that when you told him all that. Are you sure this guy isn't a prick, Daisy?" Harry hides his grin, knowing damned well that David has never mentioned this to his lover...*3...2...1...*

David's eyes grew wide and he shook his head, "I never told him. I was a fucking coward and just walked out without a word."

*And we have enlightenment.* "You don't think that is information he might have wanted to know? Might have needed to know? Jeezus Daisy- you haven' t been thinking much with the big head of late, have you?" Harry shakes his head and takes another pull of his beer.

David scowls at Harry for a moment but then concedes nodding, "Guess I wasn't thinking about that, but still doesn't change the fact he cheated on me. He never cheated on that other asshole who treated him so badly."

Harry rolls his eyes. "Daisy, do you love this guy? And does he love you?"
"I love him, and I thought he loved me," David answers.

"Christ on a cracker, Daisy- give me your gut feeling! Does the man fucking love you?" Harry is getting exasperated.

Thinking back on the last five months and even before that when he and Craig had just been friends he nodded, "Yeah, he does...or did until I fucking walked out. Oh, shit, Harry. I fucked up big time didn't I?"

"And these guys he was fucking- did he do it to hurt you, use you, fuck you over? Or was it just about sex?" Harry's been having this argument for three years already, and he's gotten pretty used to it.

"Just sex I suppose, it wasn't like he did it maliciously or something," David said a little surprised he was defending Craig on that.

"Then what's the big fucking deal? You're a libertine Daisy, you fuck for a living, and if I say so myself, you're pretty damned good. Do those people mean anything to you at the end of the day? And you can answer that honestly, it's not gonna hurt my feelings."

"Well, no," David says starting to feel even more like an idiot than before.

"Do you really think it means anything to the guy when he buys an auction, or sees a libertine for a few hours? Does he stay with them when it's all over with, or does he come home to you at the end of it?" Harry isn't used to being this insightful. It's disconcerting. He drinks some more beer.

"No, he doesn't stay with them, he was always home when I came home. I didn't even know about it until he told me that day," David said hanging his head. He got where Harry was going with all this.

"Then what the hell does it matter Daisy? He loves you, you love him, and you both have meaningless sex with other people- you 'cause it's your job, and him 'cause he likes to fuck. It's not that big a deal, David. Pleasure and partners and all that. You should know better."

Harry finishes his beer in one swallow, thumps the glass down on the table, and wipes the last of the foam off his lips.

David sighed, he did know better but it still hurt for some reason. He could get over that though get past it somehow. "Do you think he'd listen to me if I tried to talk to him or do you think I fucked it all up too much?"

Harry leans into David and gives him a gentle slap upside the head. "Get your ass up there, find him and tell him the goddamned truth, you great girl's blouse! This is what happens when people aren't fucking honest with each other. Whether it works or not, he deserves to know why you reacted the way you did."

David grinned the first time he'd managed one in weeks, "Yeah...yeah I'll do that. Thanks, Harry!" he says standing quickly nearly upsetting the table as he tossed money down for his untouched drinks and raced for the exit.

Harry smiled as he watched David run out of the pub. He reached across the table and took a drink of David's beer, then made a face. "Gah- gone warm again! This just isn't my night!" Harry smiles, a shit-eating grin spreading from ear to ear.
_______________

David grinned the first time he'd managed one in weeks, "Yeah...yeah I'll do that. Thanks, Harry!" he says standing quickly nearly upsetting the table as he tossed money down for his untouched drinks and raced for the exit.

When he entered the main hallway he ran for the lift but it had already gone up so he raced to the stairwell. He needed to talk to Craig. Now. Needed to tell him what an idiot he was, and beg him to take him back. He raced up two flights of stairs and then burst into the hall the lift was there! He ran down the hall yelling for someone to hold the lift for him.

A familiar face popped out the door and smiled, "Come on Daisy get your ass in here then!" Brad yelled laughing. "Jesus man, where's the fucking fire?"

David was out of breath, "I'm...uh...nothing. Thanks...just in a hurry." David gasped trying to catch his breath.

Brad chuckled and shook his head. "What are you doing up here?" David asked knowing Brad shouldn't have clearance...just like he shouldn't.

"I'm on my way to see Livvie, what about you?" Brad asked.

David shook his head trying to think of a good lie. "Sean," he nearly squeaked.

Brad exited when the lift arrived and turned to David who remained inside. "Well?" Brad asked.

"Umm...I'm meeting him upstairs," David lied.

Brad frowned but nodded. "See ya, around then."

When the doors closed David collapsed against the wall glad Brad hadn't tried to read him.

When the doors opened to the Royal Suites David paused. ‘What the fuck am I going to say anyway?’ he wondered, but he headed for Craig's door still a little out of breath. He knocked praying the man was home.

Craig stared listlessly at the com. His rooms were a mess and he couldn’t have cared less. He'd barely been able to work since David had left, and tried to stay at home as much as possible, rather than chance seeing the beloved face.

He heard a loud knock at the door, but didn't have the energy to get up and answer. "I'm busy. Go away!"

David frowned at the door as if that would help and knocked again.

Craig was pissed that his unwanted and uninvited visitor hadn't left. Tossing the blanket in his lap onto the floor, he stood up and stalked to the door. He flung it open and stared numbly at his ex lover. "David?" he asked softly, thinking he must be dreaming.

"We need to talk," David said before he lost his nerve. Gods he'd missed him, just two weeks and it had felt like a lifetime.

Craig swallowed the lump in his throat and stood aside for David to enter. "Did you leave something here?" he asked quietly. "I thought I'd sent everything down...."

David stepped in the door and then turned to face Craig, "You could say that...yeah that I left something."

Seeing the face of the man he loved after the two longest weeks of his life was all the more heartbreaking because he knew it was only for a moment. David would find whatever it was he'd left and leave again. He avoided looking into his eyes, knowing that if he did, he'd beg him to stay, to hold him, if only for a few minutes. NO. Better to not even look, not even *feel* those arms again. "Yeah... Well....go ahead. Get what ever you need. No problem."

David continued to stand in front of Craig looking at him intently, "I've already found it."

Craig stared at a point beyond David's shoulder. "Oh? Good. Glad you found whatever it was." He had no idea what David was talking about, and didn't really care. It was all he could do not to wrap his arms around him and hang on for dear life, but he managed to stay still, waiting for David to pick up his property and walk back out the door.

David stood there for a moment and sighed, for an intelligent mediator Craig could be fucking dense sometimes. "Craig, look at me please?" David asked softly.

Craig bit his bottom lip and slowly lifted his eyes to David's. He was startled to see the smiled he'd missed to much, and the sparkle in the beautiful eyes he'd never stopped dreaming of. "Yeah?" he whispered, his heart in his throat.

"We. Need. To. Talk." David repeated, "I've been an idiot, and I'd like you to listen to me, and then decide if you want me to leave once I've said my peace."

Craig forgot to breathe for a moment. He wanted to believe the nightmare was over, and David would take him, back, but that was asking for too much. "Ok," he said softly. "I'm listening."

David took a deep breath, "I should never have walked away that day, I should have stayed and told you everything...but I didn't. I was chickenshit and I'm sorry," he said burying his hands in his pockets.

Craig stared up at David in disbelief. He stepped closer and reached out a trembling hand to rest on his arm. "You're sorry? My God, I was the one who threw you out! I was the one who..." His voice hitched as he pulled his arm back to fall at his side.. "Wait. What do you mean David? What do you.....want?" He closed his eyes, afriad the answer wouldn't be what he longed to hear.

"This is gona take a while, can we sit down?" David asked hoping Craig would give him the time he needed to explain.

Craig nodded and walked to the couch, where he sat down, wrapping his arms around a pillow to keep himself from reaching for David. "Yeah. Ok. What do we need to talk about, then?" he asked quietly.

"Do you know why I never accepted your offers to buy out my contract?" David asked looking down at his linked hands and then back up at Craig.

Craig looked at David in surprise. "Yeah. I would have done it you know. Made it so you'd never have to work again if you didn't want to."

"But do you understand why I said no?" David asked softly.

"Not really."

"I wouldn't have earned it for myself. I'm not Russell, I don't want you for your money, for your connections, or the crown. I want you for YOU, Craig. Not titles, and not even my freedom. I can earn my own way and have my whole life," David explained.

Craig was having trouble finding his voice. "You....you want me? After all this?" He closed his eyes. "You deserve more, David. You deserve your freedom, plus everything else the world has to offer you. I know you can earn your way - I've always known that. I just.....just wanted to make you happy. And give you....things That's all I know how to do." His voice trailed off as he looked down.

"No, I don't deserve more than what I have, and what is right in front of me is worth more than all the gold in the world. I will have my freedom that I have earned within the next year and a half. Let me earn that on my own or it makes the last 10 years worth nothing," David says softly.

Craig felt his heart get a little lighter. Worth more than all the gold in the world? My God, this couldnt' be happening. There had to be a catch somewhere. He tried to calm himself and looked back up at the man he loved. "Ok. I'm sorry I tried to buy you out. I didn't understand how you felt.. I'm sorry." He shook his head. "But.... you were so angry last time we talked. I'd never seen you like that. I still don't understand what happened. Or why you're telling me this now."

David sighed, "I've realized what an idiot I was. I was hurt that you were buying services, and I shouldn't have been. You were right love is different than sex. It is my job and yes it's only fair that you get to have sex with whomever you want if I'm doing that to. It was selfish, I had someone point that out to me tonight. How can I hold you to a higher standard than myself? So...I was thinking, if you still want to do that then I'll deal with it, as long as you come home to me at the end of the day."

Craig sat in stunned silence. "David, you are the most unselfish person I've ever met in my life. My God. I never thought you were selfish. Never." He shook his head and ran a hand over his eyes. "And.....come home to you at the end of the day? Is that what you said? Or am I losing my mind? Do you....does that mean you could possibly still want me?"

David smiled the first time he'd really smiled in two weeks, "I never stopped wanting you or loving you. I was stupid not to fight harder for you. If you'll have me back then we will never again let something like this come between us? I just can't live without you, Craig. I love you, and if sharing you with a few other Servitors is what I have to do to keep you then I will. I just want to ask you a favor and not choose any of my friends. It would be too difficult. Next I'd like us to keep our relationship a secret just close friends and family will know. I don't want other Servitors to think I am getting special treatment in any way because I am seeing a Prince. Does that sound like something we can do or should I just leave?" David asked praying he was going to get the answer he wanted to hear.

Craig pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and scooted closer to David. "Ok," he said softly. "One thing at a time. Let me think for a second. You want us to keep our relationship a secret? Fine. I understand how you feel now. I'm sorry I didn't take the time to understand it before."

David nodded "It's ok, we should have really talked...like we are doing now."

Craig reached out placed a trembling hand over David's, stopping just short of touching him. "Is this alright?" he whispered. "Can I touch you?"

"Of course you can," David said softly.

Craig rested his hand on David's and felt his heart speed up. God, two weeks since he'd felt this - Just the simple touch of David's skin made him smile. Curling his fingers into David's palm, he looked into his eyes. "And as for fighting - I didn't give you much of a chance. You're right about us talking. I should have told you how I felt - about everything. I was...afraid that........" He took a deep breath. "That you'd find someone else and leave me. But I never told you that. I'm sorry."

"You're telling me now. I should have stayed that night, I should have fought harder and not just walked away like that. Instead of talking to you, telling you how I felt I just walked away. I'm sorry," David answered softly laying his other hand on top of Craig's.

Craig looked down and stared at their intertwined hands. Here was the man he treasured more than he'd ever treasured anyone or anything in his life. He raised his free hand to cup David's face and ran his thumb along his cheek. "I never stopped loving you either, you know. I've missed you every single second since you left. It broke my heart when you walked out that door. I know it was may fault, I know I didn't give you much of a choice. But it killed me when you left. I just wanted to save myself from getting hurt later. I just didn't know how bad it would hurt. I was already too much in love with you and I was stupid to think I could spare myself the pain." He let a single tear escape as he leaned his forehead to rest against David's.

"I'm not going anywhere ever again, love. Never. Just please don’t confuse me with your past, I'll not hurt you like that...never, at least not ever again. Please forgive me,” David whispered softly.

Craig gently pulled his hands away and wrapped his arms around his lover, holding him tightly. "There's nothing to I need to forgive you for." he whispered into David's ear. "I screwed this up, not you. So I'm asking you to forgive me. I know you're not like him, that you'd never hurt me. You are my greatest gift, my dearest treasure. I promise I'll never push you away like that again. I'll never hurt you. I love you."

"I love you and I've missed you too, *and* I should have talked to you that day....told you all this then. I've never been in love before, not like this," David said softly then leaned in pressing his lips to Craig's. He'd missed how he tasted, how his body felt against his own.

Craig sucked gently on David's tongue and let his hands wander through his hair. Pulling him close, he kissed him deeply for long minutes before lifting his head and burying his face in his lover's neck. Tears of joy streamed down his face as he wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly. "Please just hold me, ok? Like you'll never let me go?"

"I can definitely do that." David whispered smiling brightly and pulling Craig closer. He'd need to thank Harry later.

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Returning from his thoughts of the past David smiled at Craig as he snuggled even closer in bed. They’d been through so much in the four years since they met. The hardest were those two weeks apart and now…now they were past all of it. Getting married. David kissed Craig’s forehead tenderly and fell back to sleep.